i’ve noticed a slur of mixed emotions when it comes down to making resolutions. mostly because those who say to hell with resolutions always seem to break theirs. or at least what i’ve noticed based on observation. for me, i feel it’s a challenge with myself. something i need to conquer. sure i might bend it a little here and there but i’m still taking the initiative to actually do it. i’m doing my best. not trying, but doing. i believe resolutions can be met if you have a positive mindset.

onto my actual new year resolutions!

1. be more organized. ah- not an easy feat for me. i pretty much always have a little clutter of things going on. whether be laundry i haven’t folded up yet or mail unopened and left on the table or boxes and bags from a shopping spree left all over the floor… i never seem to really grasp keeping things tidy. this needs to stop. i’m 24. i can’t live in a mess forever.

2. be more mature. though, for my age, i assume i am much more mature for my age (i feel as though i’m more mature than those older than me most times). i feel as though i could be a lot more mature. no one likes a 24 year old acting like they’re still 21. or least i don’t! i want to be taken serious when need be. i don’t want to be the person no one can rely on. not to confuse my sense of humor, i very much have one. i just feel as though i need to start acting more like a mid-twenties young adult rather than a party all the time kid.

3. need to get on my diet and exercise. in 2011, i let myself indulge in countless sweets and mcchickens. i gained so much weight. i’m lucky that i still fit into my pants, though they are a bit snug. i need to get on the ball. i’m not trying to impress anyone with an amazing figure. i’m trying to be more healthy. both sides of my family have serious health problems which include heart disease, memory loss, diabetes and thyroid problems. not to mention i am battling manic depression on my own. with the proper diet and exercise, i can lessen my chances of all those ailments. also it would help release the proper amounts of serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine to the brain. all i want is a healthy body and a happy brain.

4. keep my eye on my budget and finances. i know i’m pretty good at this, but i gotta keep this up! i have some big trips in the works. i want to be able to be comfortable on my trips and not worry. i also wanted to get something for my mom.

5. make time for myself. i’ve been doing this a lot lately. and i just need to keep on doing some “ME” time. read a book with some trip hop playing, nice bubble bath, playing mmorpgs. whatever the case. just cut everyone off for a couple hours and r-e-l-a-x! i like having time to self-reflect and collect my thoughts. helps keeps me focused on my priorities.

6. blog at least once a week. i’m terrible at this! i get so distracted by things happening around me, i forget to write here and there. why is it important to me? a chance to vent. a chance to reinvent. a chance to write everything down and express myself. to keep a clear my mind. i want to start a routine with a minimum of 1 post a week.

7. get back into dance. ahhhhh that just speaks for itself.

8. work on my progression to getting in NYSID (new york school of interior design). this will be a long hard road. but a journey i’m ready to take. a new chapter in my life has risen like out of the ashes of a phoenix it feels like. stay focused, mikko, stay focused.

9. be there for my family more. as i get older, so is my family. my father’s as well as my grandmother’s (my mom’s mom) are all having birthdays in february. they aren’t getting any younger. which is why i want to spend as much time as possible with them before i can’t any longer.

10. explore more. i love traveling. i love trying new and different things. i love meeting new people. if money wasn’t an issue, i would travel the entire world in a heartbeat. like i stated above, i have some places in the works so i’ll be make this resolution happen very often. i also hope to meet some great new people this year!

11. find the one? not saying that i HAVE to find an ideal match to myself this year, but at least try. i know what i want. i just haven’t found the right one for me yet. (norman reedus)

12. STAY POSITIVE. easier said than done especially through adversity, but it can be done. i’m feeling good about this year. let’s make it happen!

so these are just the general resolutions. i have little ones here and there like drink mixed fresh fruit smoothies rather than pasteurized & artificial milkshakes, rearrange room and do more photography. but i just wanted to hit the nail on the head for the just. ahh- writing all that got me even more motivated to start this year with a BANG! today is officially the 3rd day of the new year. let’s make the best of each day!

anywhos. i’m cranky as hell because i didn’t get much sleep. i have 6 blankets at which NONE kept me warm enough last night. i was FREEZING. and now i must get ready for work. -______-

me and pinksugarichigo as well as bouncy brown will be doing a whole lotta christmas shopping today! or at least i know i am! i got 40-something people to buy things for! yikes!! filipino families are huge. just saying.

i’m also getting my nails done this morning. treat for myself.

oh! i’ll be making a trip to NY in spring to check out some interior design schools. got a few friends out there who hopefully will be my tour guides because i haven’t been to NY in a loooong time and well, i don’t wanna seem lost. lol.

i’m really excited about the trip! i seriously giggled with a big ol’ grin on my face when i was sorting my finances and budgets in order to make my stay in NY comfy. this is going to be grand! i’m also hoping to run into norman reedus. he’s got to be the most attractive man i’ve ever laid eyes on. i know i’ve never met him, but judging by his demeanor in interviews and random video clips (non-movie or tv series), he’s very down to earth. which is rare in the world of acting. egos blow up like helium balloons when fame is involved. and in case you want a little peek at his lovely man’s face, enjoy:

what a gorgeous, gorgeous man (and his son is adorable by the way)! i seriously would love to run into him at a bar or something. just need to not act like a stuttering fan girl haha- i also want to check out his photography in person. maybe buy one. we’ll see!

ahh time to get ready.
[[[ i'll post pictures! ]]]

Total intake: 320 cal.

Surprisingly filling.

INTAKE:
- 1 dannon light & fit yogurt: 80 cal.
- half a cup of apple jacks (no milk): 55cal.

EXERCISE:
stretching & light yoga.

I need to buy canvas and do watercolor again. I miss painting. I also need to get another memory card. I’ve only done photography for school. I feel as though i’m not stretching my creative wings enough. They’ve been clipped by my professors political views on photojournalism. Bleh. I was bored and took a photo of my arm. Playing with shadows and lights and 9am. Time to head back home.

something i can’t stand is to get hit on. don’t whistle at me, don’t click at me, don’t look me up and down and undress me with your eyes, don’t ask for my number, don’t “compliment” my body or face and NEVER tap me on the back of my shoulder.

to hit on someone, you’re only looking at them from a shallow and physical perspective. i can’t stand that. to love someone or to find interest in someone is to look passed that. to see someone as a person, not a slab of meat. sure, everyone likes compliments now and then.. but to hear “ayy girl come here, you lookin sexy as hell”.. that’s lust. not love. and i would rather have love than lust. i’m sorry, but i’m not the type of female that needs to be called sexy to feel beautiful. i need to be called beautiful to feel beautiful. sexy does NOT equal beautiful. sorry, ladies.

anyways, to get to my point…

friday night, it was addressed that i was single and so oddly enough somehow guys were having at. they wanted to dance, they wanted to flirt, they wanted to hit on me. i, of course, didn’t want any part of it. i didn’t want to ruin the mood, but i set myself clear.

THEN, i get like 3 inbox messages as well as 2 chat messages on facebook in regards to hearing of my newly acquired status.

THE WOUND IS STILL FRESH!

i can’t just get over something so serious in my life.

if i did, it wasn’t really love, was it?

—sigh—

guys are weird.

by the way, yes i am single.. but i am not looking. i don’t want to look.
please stop. thank you.

and until next time…

2 months, really? Funny how fast time flies when you’re having fun working. Lol. I should be doing this blog thing more often. It’s rather soothing. To speak without using my voice. But still get my point across.

Things have been.. well.. the usual crazy. Or at least to my mentally distressed brain it has. But due to its normality, i see no real significance to go into detail.

My birthday is in 3 days. Not so excited. I wish i was. Maybe when the day comes, I will be. We’ll see.

I can’t believe this year is almost done. Too fast. But i guess i can account the fact that it’s been a very busy year. Which i have absoluutely nothing to complain about.

Heading to work as I write.. oh man, blogging while walking has got to the most dangerous thing lol. I almost ran into someone. Ack.

Til next time..

So i was attempting to stay away from my laptop to concentrate on my feature story assignment for photojournalism.

Somehow i am now posting on wordpress via my phone. I can’t get away of the interwebz if my life depended on it. Haha.

And i got even more distracted by taking pictures of myself. Im ashamed. But not ashamed enough to post them. View and enjoy.

Now, attempting to do a little research for my assignment…. Without getting distracted by my phones games and apps. Ohhhh too late!